Finally, the academics are taking over!

It looks like William F. Buckley’s worst nightmare is happening: the leaders of the free world are looking a lot more like the faculty of Harvard and less like the Boston phone book. In addition to Obama in the U.S., it’s looking like Michael Ignatieff is poised to become the Prime Minister of Canada.

I trust that the world will be more sensibly run from now on. Perhaps we can get a nice professor at the Normale Sup’ to replace Sarkozy. And in the interests of contributing to this positive change, as well as to save badly needed federal dollars in the declining economy, I hereby offer my services to President-elect Obama in any of the following capacities at a 20% discount from the standard salary for the position:

Director of Central Intelligence (40% discount for this!)
Ambassador to Monaco (30% discount for this!)
Appellate Judge or Justice of the Supreme Court (I’m not choosy)
Vice-President (just ease that Biden guy out)
Governor of Illinois (you guys obviously need a new one)
Attorney General (I promise, no torture memos… unless you want one)
Supreme Allied Commander Europe (but please not Iraq, seriously)

I trust I’ll be hearing from you shortly, Mr. President.


5 Responses to “Finally, the academics are taking over!”

  1. Arvita Says:

    Paul, I think there are really only three positions (VP, Dir CIA, SAC) on your list that would further your career goals of Supreme Ruler of all. Go for the Supreme Allied Commander – you’d get the nuke codes!

    How’d the red velvet cupcakes turn out? My essay on game theory is finished, went rather well considering I’ve been out of practice.

  2. Paul Gowder Says:

    The issue is discounting: the immediate utility of a job like United States Ambassador to Monaco might outweigh the discounted utility of the chance for taking the whole prize as SACEUR.

    I decided not to bake. Yay for finishing the game theory thing! My papers this quarter are not similarly finished…

  3. Matt Says:

    I’ll be very sorry to see a torture apologist become the leader of Canada. They deserve better.

  4. ben wolfson Says:

    If you’re reading, Obama, I want you to know that I would make a great judge and I work cheaper than Paul.

  5. Uncommon Priors » Since HLS is taking over the federal government Says:

    [...] I hereby renew my application for the ambassadorship to Monaco, and/or CIA directorship, [...]

Leave a Comment