The delicate dance of free stuff

My newest and super-awesome friend Ellen walks a delicate line with free stuff: at the cafe she frequents, she gets lots and lots of free lattes, but the provider of the free lattes has upgraded to free cookies, and that may be a little too much…

Thanks to male privilege &c, I need not worry about that problem with free stuff. But I have another problem with free stuff, namely, insufficiency of. See, I practically live at this Mediterranean wraps place. The awesome dudes who run the place (I think they’re the joint owners, but they’re at least the management) often also run the register, and they give out lots of free stuff, but because I’m a super-regular who has been known to sometimes go there twice a day, I always get more free stuff than anyone else. Which is good business strategy for them — I’m always extremely pleasantly disposed to the place because of the free stuff, I’m constantly sending them business, go there constantly, etc. So I’m kind of taken aback on the rare occasions when I don’t end up with at least a falafel and tea on the house to go with my shawerma wrap.

So med wraps hires this new guy on the register sometimes, and he’s a little… clueless. Cool, but clueless. The first time I was there when he was on the register, one of the bosses was flitting about, saw me, and told him to give me a tea. Which he did… and then charged me for it. An understandable confusion, but I can’t really clear it up, now can I? What do you say in this situation? “Actually, I never pay for my tea. The nerve! Fie on you, you insolent whelp! Remove that charge before I have my men horsewhip you! You’ll never work a cash register in this town again!” So I swallowed it and paid for the tea (which I didn’t actually want badly enough to pay for — it’s good, but not worth a couple bucks, especially on a warm day).

The next time I saw him, I was already eating, and for some reason hadn’t gotten a tea that day (I think some other non-manager was on the register). He asks me if it was too hot for tea that day. Not really knowing what else to say, I said “yes.”

Now, every time he’s on the register, he asks me if it’s too hot for tea. And I always say “yes.” Because, if I say “no,” he might plunk down one in front of me and, heaven forbid, expect me to pay for it. On the other hand, he might have gotten with the program after observing me get copious free stuff from his bosses in the interim, and if I said “no,” he might plunk one down in front of me and not expect me to pay for it, as per the standard practice.

Fortunately, the new guy isn’t always on the register (and he always wants to chat too). But still, this is seriously cutting into my free med wraps booty! I think next time I’ll say “no, it’s not too hot” and risk a couple bucks on seeing what happens.

The trials of my life; the crosses I bear; woe, woe, woe is me.

Share


One Response to “The delicate dance of free stuff”

  1. Edward Young Says:

    Are there any other sites that gives free sample products and some other free stuffs?,”:

Leave a Comment