you know you are both neurotic and a[n ex-]lawyer when

… you receive one of those little peach notices in your mailbox saying you have certified mail to be picked up, which you can’t pick up before tomorrow morning, so you spend a large percentage of the evening having paranoid thoughts about what could possibly be showing up via certified mail, contemplating the possibility that someone is suing you, running down in your head a list of all persons and entities who might conceivably have an even colorable legal claim against you, no matter how frivolous, and then coming up with a fairly complete legal defense and/or settlement negotiation strategy for each.

I’m going to be so pissed tomorrow morning when this turns out to be a super-aggressive advertisement or a threatening letter about some unpaid parking ticket or something.

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