Uncommon Priors

Is it just me, or does Death Cab for Cutie have the most horrifyingly stalkerish lyrics ever?* On a date recently, the conversation turned to that “I will possess your heart” song, and it was concluded that it would be both hillarious and horrible to do a dating hidden camera tv show where one party walks into the room and starts singing those lyrics. If that happened to me, I’d flee straight from the room to court to get a restraining order.

(Also contemplated for that tv show, a woman meets her date, decides she likes him and takes out a pair of scissors to make her dress show more cleavage on the spot. Nina, are you reading? How about Eric J.? C’mon entertainment industry friends, you guys need to get me a pitch meeting. :-) )

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* Possible competition: “Shady Lady” by the Ohio Players, which begins as follows: “You can run, but you can’t hide, I’ve got to have you in my life.” But that song gets a free pass from me, even though the rest of the lyrics appear to be telling an ex that “you’re still my baby,” because it has a megafunky bass line, and The Funk is important.